Response 2, Week 5. Ray

Ray the title of this work is fantastic, it does a wonderful job at reinforcing the desperation felt in the tone of the work. The way that you mix the image of the 'big city' and 'sands of Puerto Rican beach' was also interesting and clued the reader into the mind of the subject. Things I would work on would be your word choice. 'Vast Sky' is a given, 'utter chaos' has been used often, as has 'hell hole'. However, the imagery with the astrological sighs was really enjoyable to read. How you voiced Sagittarius as the most important sign because it takes up the whole sky was interesting and amusing. Also how you mixed the theme of destiny with the stars creates a Shakespearean 'star-crossed' effect. Well done Sir.