1) Why is the check engine light always on?
-Because the engine always wanted the be the transmission.
-Because they no longer teach auto shop in school anymore.
-Because the shady yuppie you bought it from is a strict capitalist.
-Because the car won't pass emissions unless the light is off and you can't see if the new thousand dollar part for the car works unless you drive it around, but you can't drive it around until you get a new tag which you won't get unless you pass emissions.
-Because the car is a terrorist and emotionally withholding.
-Because its a BMW, "The ultimate driving machine" and hipsters love irony.
-Because you just can't have a convertible and have it in working condition, cosmicly speaking.
-Because the car believes that it can make it in the world based on its looks and luck.
-Because the arrogant owner did not offer the proper gasoline, steal and leather sacrifice to the car Gods.