Sunday, March 27, 2011

Free Write 1, Week 10

How to Roll the Perfect Cigarette.

Good cigs start with good papers,
perfect smokes start with good tobacco.
Bugler sucks, Tops and Drum are just OK, but Pueblo leaf is perfect.
'Fumer perjudica gravemente su salud y la... la la la' smoking kills you.
To start, crush the skins between your fingers to make it more maliable, like adding water to clay.
Then select a unreasonable amount of cancer to be placed into your L and roll it down using your thumb, pointer and middle fingers of each hand.
You will not be taking seriously if you require a cigarette roller, the fanny pack of rolling cigarettes.
The hardest part is closing.
Carefully add a layer of saliva to the gummed end of the pape(the yellow end that seals).
If you use to much, it won't stick.
If you use to little, it won't stick.
Such is life,
the only way to be good at smoking is to do it often.

2 comments:

  1. Ben,
    I enjoy the theme to this poem. It's like the demonstration presentations I had to do in high school (and again in Public Speaking): first you do this, here's why you do this, etc. The structure itself may benefit from experimentation though. Many of your lines are very long, going all the way to the margin. Others ("to clay", "cigarettes, and "Such is life") are cut extremely short. I don't get the feeling that these break choices are actively helping the piece. And watch your grammar: "malleable", "an unreasonable", "taken seriously", and at the end, "too much...too little."

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  2. Ben,
    This poem was well written and quite amusing. I really liked the word choices throughout the piece, and the sarcastic tone gives it strong character and a good overall feel. Visually the draft doesn't seem to be quite there yet, as some lines are much longer than others giving it an awkward sort of look. With a little more spacing and fixing a few minor grammar issues, I think this piece will be much improved. Nice job.

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